A Letter to New Moms About Choosing Yourself Without Losing Everything Else
Dear New Mom,
Right now, your life is likely a beautiful, messy swirl of feedings, feelings, and figuring out what day it is. You’re learning how to be a mom — and it’s big. It’s life-changing. It’s everything.
But can I let you in on something a little raw and real?
Motherhood will eventually force you to make choices you never saw coming.
And many of them will circle around one impossible question:
Can I really have kids and money?
Because one day soon, you might find yourself wondering:
Do I go back to work or stay home?
Do I pursue the career I love, even if it means long hours or less pay?
Can I afford to build a business and still contribute to my family’s finances?
Will saving for retirement mean sacrificing my kid’s sports or college fund?
You may feel like you have to pick:
The work you love. The income you need. The kids you’re raising. The future you dream about.
And most days, the math just doesn’t add up.
But here’s the truth: you can’t do it all at once, but you can do it all over time — with intention.
You are not selfish for wanting a career.
You are not careless for needing a paycheck.
You are not less of a mother for dreaming of financial independence.
You’re human. You’re a woman. You’re a mom. And you are allowed to want joy, meaning, time, and money — even if it feels impossible some days.
So what do you do?
You start where you are.
You take small steps toward financial clarity.
You invest in yourself, even if that just means learning something new, saving $20 a week, or asking for help.
You make peace with the fact that different seasons of life will demand different priorities.
And most of all, you stop putting yourself last on the list — financially and emotionally. Because your future matters too.
At Her Retirement, we believe that women like you don’t need to be told to hustle harder or “sacrifice more.” You need tools, guidance, community — and permission to build a life that honors both your kids and your wealth.
So to answer the question:
Can you have kids and money?
Yes.
But it requires honesty, a plan, and the courage to put yourself back in the picture.
And I promise — that’s not just okay. It’s essential.
With love,
Lynn
Founder, Her Retirement
Financial Feminist. Mom of Three. Still figuring it out — just like you.